Sunday, May 2, 2010


We are your better half, your sensitive half, your cuter half, but also the smaller half, and the silent half of you. we are, as you would put it, complicated people, who don't understand themselves, who, in fact, don't understand anything. But we beg to differ.

You believe that our lives are boring, we concentrate on trifles and talk about things. But you pretend too much; at times, you wish you could talk to someone. And you know, we don't rote all day in college. We do have brains, and also a sense of fun. So your stereotype - "tum log ghotte ho yaar! hum log lite lete hai.. " - seriously, chuck it! We're bored.

We hear you complaining that there are no beautiful girls to look at in the campus, we see you using your fingertips to count the few females who are 'worth a glance'. You go on and on about how 'dry' your college is, while we are sitting with you on the same table. And at all these times, we wonder what makes you think that you deserve to have beautiful as well as intelligent girls hovering around you, when your own population, if we think about it, is nothing supernormal.

You believe that birdwatching is your birthright. And if you neither drink nor smoke, even for a change, its unnatural. But if a girl does that, or even wishes to do that - oh no! thats so characterless! We don't want every liberty that you have, we just want a fair judgement, you know.

At times, you go to the extent of thinking that you would be popular if you divulged a girl's secrets to a crowd. you proclaim your intimacy with a girl just to put up a cool face in a group. Sometimes, when you are drunk and loose on the streets, you take the liberty of jeering at a girl walking alone. You evetease, just for the fun of it; perhaps you derive an insane pleasure in seeing us scared, supressed, at your mercy. you know what? We feel sick of you at times as these.

You still don't realise, do you? we aren't meant to be a prize for your eyes. We also aren't just a bunch of body parts you fancy. We're people with brains and a heart, and above all, we're people with an identity so much independent of yours.

Introducing ourselves to you,

Yours Sincerely,



Radha said...

didn't really expect a 'feminist' post from myself, but these days, feminism is in the air!

Shruti said...

radha awesome! was kust talking to somebody about how i never felt my sex to be a hindrance to anything and how i do not like feminist stuff.. but this is very nicely written.. just reminded me of this blog..

you have a flair for writing man!

Apoorv said...

very well said. m sure it will make every 'man' rethink his attitude

Radha said...

@ Shruti: thanks! I saw the blog you mentioned. its good :) the tone is much stronger than mine though, the author is a feminist through and through.

@ Apoorv: Well, if it really makes people rethink, then its great!

wolverine said...

this is an awesome post... i wish all people realized women are not commodities... they are equals... or rather better than man

Lalit said...

"...we wonder what makes you think that you deserve to have beautiful as well as intelligent girls hovering around you"

Perfectly put. I personally never felt that there was dearth of beauty at campus [:)] and even that might be the case to some guys , atleast there is no dearth of feminine intelligence at campus.And I think that more than makes up for the 'perceived' and hyped-loss.

Well written post...kudos

draco said...

If I may...,
I think you just described a portion of boys and a portion of girls.I could go on and on about how some 'girls' like to be 'admired'(please note that I am using both words sarcastically) and how only some 'boys' misbehaves with girls(drunk or not).
But that would be just stating plain facts.People today don't bother what others feel or think and you can't make them see your way by stick or carrot.What we can do is make some good choices with whom we want to be with.
And if a boy starts talking as if you are not there, why do you bother being with him/them?
And every person enjoys seeing others falter more than when they win(S.Freud says so).
And if I may add, stop thinking as a girl and start thinking as a person (No Offense).
Just another guy.

Anonymous said...

I think its pathetic that you actually think on these lines even in this day and age.... I directly come to point where u speak of drinking and smoking-these are done by people of both sexes and have nothing to do with misbehavior. So please stop making such silly comparisons on these lines.
Now coming to the intimacy issues and the 'cool' attitude-if 'we' want to be popular in our group, then so do 'u'. I happen to know for a fact that many of 'u' actually sit and count the number of hearts u have broken-now isn't that just pathetic! shame on u
Finally, the birdwatching... Its natural to feel attracted to people of the opposite sex duhhhhh!!!

Manashree said...

wow, well said...
i think most of my friends here would agree with wat u have written....
i do hope people will rethink but i seriously doubt it, coz frankly speaking,all those who fit into the above category of guys,i doubt if they will ever change...
and i still dont understand why thinking different and independent of other people is considered feminism....
i agree with the eveteasing part, its disgusting how people enjoy it, makes me think those people r really sick and need help...
girls r still considered the weaker sex n i dunno why...
i have always thought on the same lines but u have put it into words really nicely,organized, thoughtful, precise and dignified....
really admire u for that..

Anchit said...

Very nicely written...must say u r improving with every post...

But i don't think i completely agree with ur views posted here...being a girl has sum drawbacks(if thts wht "u" think) but i guess "u" enjoy lot of privileges over "us"...the amt of attention "u" get, whether they r unaccountable "purposeless" tr8s or the likes "u" get on fb for status like "feeling sleepy", a man has to be way too cool to compete with tht...Also i think a lot of guys hav spent thr 4 yrs hearing to tht stereotype "tum log ghot te ho yaar! hum log lite lete hai" so nothing feminist abt it.. Lastly having fewer girls on campus widens "ur" spectrum of choices not "us"...So learn to appreciate tht!!!
My advice to "u": stop being with guys who don't give a damn abt "u"...

PS: "u" is for all girls :P

Avanti said...

Hey thr,

Very aptly put, to be laconic. I like the way u've put it, with a hint of 'clear hai?' nice one :P Really enjoyed reading it :)

:| said...

Nice post !
But don't accept extreme ideas based on few extreme experiences . the world is not divided between good and bad 'people' or in present issue ,as you have put it: bad and bad 'guys' . allow gradation and leniency in your mindset.

not putting my name so that my gender doesn't make you biased in your inference on my comment .

Pratik Maheshwari said...

i know that this post comes in the heat of recent events on-campus..
whatever ppl say bt a male dominated society will take some time to accept the equality of women and u cant crib on that bcoz changes are always slow..
so be patient and calm but ya keep working for it.. i liked the post and the way u presented it.. keep going.. BOL !

@anonymous - grow up and be a MAN.. have an identity..

Radha said...

@ Wolverine, Lalit, Avanti and Manashree: thanks!

@ Anchit: I agree, being a girl gets you some privileges and being a guy has its own drawbacks. But girls do not create those problems, definitely not knowingly. (I mean, girls dont ask people to comment on every lame fb status they put :-) This post is more about the complaints girls have from boys themselves.

@ :| nice name btw :) I agree wholeheartedly with you. thankfully, there always are good guys, really good guys around. But every guy who reads this post with an open mind will be able to relate himself with at least one of the things i mentioned. And yeah, I'm not a feminist myself, its just the times, as i said in my own first comment. SO I believe I wouldn't have been biased towards you :)

@ PM: Thanks for your encouragement. I appreciate your balanced view :)
But I'm not cribbing! I just thought that guys ought to know :)

Radha said...

@ Anchit again: regarding the 'spectrum',
please take it lite though :D

Ankit Rastogi said...

well the link provided regarding the 'spectrum' is awesome. Regarding ur post, u've succeeded in aptly putting forth 'your' views and my oh my! your tone...the underlying, how should I put it, sneer and sarcasm, u really managed to depict guyz as very lowly creatures and pull it off quite well.
Just a point of note, wen u write smthing u can't take it back and even though you might make exceptions later, feelings are hurt.

Apollo said...

very nicely written :)... But as u pointed out sab ladkiyan ghotu nahi.... sab ladke bhi itne kamine nahin :)... u simply stripped the opposite sex naked.... leave us some dignity :)

Silent Blogger said...

@ radha.. i agree to all these things..

a small reply frm me coming upon my blog..

its about the words "ostentatious and admiring and sensitive" and their relation with girls

PRD said...

Bang on target. And a fellow LOTR fan too. Me follow.

Shashank Sharma said...

Awesome !!!!.............. neither saw just a blunt and skillful writing .

And Whatever you have written is true. Pity on our thinking :(

Radha said...

@ Draco: I agree that everything in this blog isn't every guy's story, but I'm sure it isn't entirely about a small portion of guys. C'mon, so many guys seem to think I'm not wrong, so there must be some truth in there.

@ Ankit: Thanks for your appreciation. About the guys I have hurt, i already made a bf before writing the post :D so i hope i won't face terrible consequences :P

@ Apollo: Oops!! won't too that again! but yes, I do agree with you, sab ladke bhi itne kamine nahi hote :)

@ Silent Blogger: I guess that would be an interesting read.. looking forward to it :)

@ PRD: loved your laconic style of commenting :) btw, I'm also a fellow BITSian chemical engineer in the making :)

@ Shashank: thanks :) its generous on your part to accept this :)

Ankita said...

Hey Radha,
Surprised to see some feminist stuff coming from you :D.
Very well written :)

Goonjan said...

This post deserves both kudos and commenting....
Very apparent from above!

There are a few things i thought :
1. The girl writing this is seriously pissed off!
2. The girl writes pretty well!
3. The girl made me think about 'ob!' issues -- like birdwatching, commenting, bla bla bla!!!
4. The girl deserves more attention than she gets!
5. The girl tends to get a little biased in her viewpoint. But,i feel, thats okay as long as the message is conveyed.

Let me do the 'male' defending:
Ok.. not required! Already done in the previous comments!

Let me tell the obvious truth :
1. Girls will always get attention!
2. Birdwatching will never stop.
3. Not all men are dogs, not all girls are cows! Most of them are!!

Long long comment.. i think i should stop or be prepared to be hit by sandles!!! :D

Anonymous said...

Radha..firstly it is no doubt an impressive piece of writing.However, if all of it is solely targeted towards bitsian guys then I say you can cut some slack..coz as compared to the junta we meet outside BITS..these ppl are really "cows"..However,their cribing abt there are no beauties ..n tat we are ghots is really irritating.. although i guess i m so over it now that its not even worth fighting bak fr..
neways..kudos for the blog..its awesome

draco said...

btw, a small follow up again...
Saying that many guys here are agreeing with you doesn't say much as many of these people are your friends and there's a part of truth in what you said.
We see what we want to see in others.If you think you smell a fire, you tend to see a fire.
But when I read this blog I sort of got transported into a black and white movie where a girl is walking alone fearfully clutching some books going to college to realize a 'Indian Dream'.And every guy she encounters make a pass at her and harasses her while she cries silently into her books.
-Forgive my indifference but as a Bitsian I think you have a good exposure about life(at least hope so) and this just isn't it.
And you forgot to answer my questions...
And again - Stop thinking like a girl and start thinking like a person.
('like a girl' --> Stop imagining every laughter on the corner is about you and every guy who starts talking has hots for you)
I know this ruffles some feathers but when a girl starts acting 'like a girl' it pisses us off.
Us - Manism.

mystic_sage_1791 said...

The only reason I liked this post is because it's very rare to see a girl write all this stuff.

But like it's been said before, you are pointing out to a certain type of people only.

And what's wrong with "birdwatching"? Guys are simply looking at the girls they like. It's natural.

Just realise a few things -
1) We like attractive girls. The same goes for girls, though their criteria may be different.
2) I know you won't agree with this, but it's definitely true that girls in my college atleast, have lesser fun than boys, and are less open to new things. And yeah, they're mostly in the library.

One big mistake that guys do is overlook a girl who's actually pretty smart, just cuz her looks arent that good.

And lastly, you must have experienced some sad bunch of guys, if you've written this.

But great post all in all. Really different from all others.

Anonymous said...

Dear Ms Radha, its a completely useless post. Instead of trying to give bullshit philosophy to others, it wud be bettr if you take look inside and clear your own mess.

I never suport any sort of crime against any one (women included) and frankly speakin all this feminism thing has less to do with the real problem at hand and more with satisfying their own ego and instead of co-existing,tryin to dominate and prove all the time and everywhere that women are superior in all things to men.

All this feminism shit ain't gonna do any gud to any1 except just create more differences.
Its very easy to critisize but so hard to change yourself. You think you are all good and evrytime its the guys fault, c'mon gimme a break. Already the laws are heavily tilted on your side, and still you are not stisified.

I am seriously hoping that you didn't actually meant all those things that you wrote above 'cause if you really think on those lines then its just sad and pathetic.

I don't mean to preach and normally a guy out of his self respect wud rather choose to ignore or suffer silently in these matter than come forward and make an issue. So you can go on, complain and bitch as much as you want until it satisfies your ego; you won't get much resistance from the boys. But yeah one day maybe in you mid 40's after three four divorses and no children, the reality might hit you at a time when it wud be too late for anything.

You said you think we objectify women - maybe its true maybe not, maybe we just try to sperate the mechanical from the emotional but whatever the case we do admire you and we sure as hell don't hate you.


P.S I have removed some part of my comments. Now for god's sake stop deleting my comments. If you can't stand them, stop blogging.

mystic_sage_1791 said...

You're a bitsian! O.o What drove a bitsian to write such things. All this while I was imagining you to be in some local college in UP.

But then again, only a bitsian can write such stuff. :P

BTW, i'm in bits goa.

draco said...

@ Anonymous,
I am sorry, what's your point again?
I am a guy and I disagreed with pretty much everything she has written YET I can't make sense of your post.
You seem to rant about everything but you just doesn't make any reason for it.
Next time when your post is deleted please read it once again.
P.S - Peace- One word doesn't buy you forgiveness for all the ranting.
P.P.S - Try putting forward some reason other than anti-feminism as a reason.

:| said...

Presently in agreement with Draco .

An unbiased , rational mindset needed for a judgment which i believe here neither the author, nor commentors(including me) no point furthering the discussion here .
last comment on the issue.
signing out

Apollo said...

just wanted to add one more comment to the omg number already here :P quite the storm u stirred up :P

Apollo said...

and btw.... @anonymous.. get a life or atleast a blog space to write so much :-X

Anonymous said...

@draco I guess you got the point (didn't ya?)

neway I agree that the tone was a bit too apologies ...i was probably a little pissed seeing all the hypocrisy in this post(including the guys and their attmpt at being politically correct)
plus compre messing with my head these days :P...
lite now...
won't bother nemore.


Radha said...

was overwhelmed to see the blog so flooded!

@ A lot of people: This blog is not a plea for attention. And this blog isn't about 'me'. All those who have been commenting about the bunch of people I hang out with, again, please do not personalize this.

@ Ankita: I'm also surprised I wrote this. Didn't really expect myself to be branded a feminist someday!

@ female anonymous: thanks! But yeah, I agree, BITSian guys are much more well-behaved than the crowd outside.

@ male anonymous: your last comment, the only one i deleted from my blog, said derogatory things about a particular girl. After what draco and :| have said, I do not think I have anything more to add.

@ draco: Well I totally agree with you about behaving as a person rather than as a girl. The reason I did not answer your question earlier was that it was directed more at me the person than at the writer of this blog. Or so i felt. And also, though you said that you cannot change anyone's point of view, you here seem to be trying hard to change mine.

Please do not take my reply rudely, but personally, I'm not a feminist and this post isn't my personal POV. This is something that most of the female population here feels, so when I sign it 'Us', i mean it.

about your question 'And if a boy starts talking as if you are not there, why do you bother being with him/them?': 1. This isn't my own personal problem. Every girl i know has experienced this in every group of guys they know. 2. Its not that I want them to realise I'm there and pay me attention. Just that, I behave as a person (as you would put it) and not as a hot headed feminist, and so I do not storm away.

(Most of the people commenting here are not my friends, but never mind). I still believe that I'm not entirely wrong. And I cannot figure out a way of proving that to you. So lets leave this difference of opinion at that.

lastly, the post was meant to convey what girls feel about guys, but all you seemed to glean out of it was the kind of person I'm and girls generally are. felt bad about this :)

P.S. _/\_ respect, for your answer to anon.

@ mystic_sage_1791: I already have answered to a part of your comment. And "One big mistake that guys do is overlook a girl who's actually pretty smart, just cuz her looks arent that good." Bingo! You got that right!

@ Apollo: About @ anonymous: you spoke my heart!

Radha said...

@ Goonjan: A separate reply to you, coz the comment was so unique :P My first reaction was ROTFL, and then as you expected, pulling my sandles off :P

thanks for the kudos! But btw, The girl really does not want any more attention. She never did!

Manish said...

Atleast this is better than:

draco said...

What we write is what feel/think.
Anyway I am trying to change how you see things(Very different from 'changing opinion' bit).
And btw,this is YOUR blog, so you 'can' be rude.
The futility of you writing about harassment of girls is like me trying to write about mis-use of Domestic Violence Act by girls.In spite of being correct, we both have no experience in it.
I never meant anything personally in my comment.And I meant the last part of the comment as a dig...(But you get the idea why I chose to comment.If somebody slanders you(your gender) for something a few did is well,wrong).
P.S: If I am not trying to change, I wouldn't be writing this.

Radha said...

@ Draco: Actually, the only purpose of writing this, on my part, was to convey my feelings to people in general. I really do not expect people to change just by reading a few paragraphs written by an unknown girl. So as such, the futility of this article, as far as I'm concerned, does not come into picture.

You are trying to change (yourself, I believe); I feel really grateful for that. But don't you think its rather tough trying to change how a person sees things through blog comments?

Also, I believe that this discussion has now become a bit irrelevant to the post.

draco said...

@ hmm yes, this is irrelevant but that's what comments are for(:P)...
Anyway I am not saying the blog is futile,I am saying that you talking about harassment of girls is, when you have no idea about it.
Like I said, I am trying to change how we see things.
Anyway keep writing, so that I can bash you some more(kiddin...)
Good Luck for compre's...
P.S: Dont ghot much!

Anonymous said...

Hello All,
Although writing this after all these comments is useless but this is a small advice to everyone:
Someone here said that "You only see what you want to see" so I guess they are looking at only negative part of the article
Rather they could have seen the point she is trying to make but as is said by many female activists "Guys are happy untill you speak what they want to hear"
So ppl commenting here , grow up and learn to take criticism in a positive way rather than just cribing about it and attacking the person who dared to speak

draco said...

You know this is exactly what I am talking about.As far as I know,we just had a few arguments and as far as I can tell the author has no problem with any of it(I am not taking some crazy person's comment into account here).But the third person who sees this thinks we all 'attacked' and brow beat her because she dared raised her voice.
And I would say "Girls are happy until they hear a contradictory voice".

Anonymous said...

You are doing the same thing again. I just gave you an advice to see the point she made than to prove your point by any means possible so I guess there is no point saying it.

draco said...

You know we can keep this on forever until one of us is just fed up.This is one of those things when we just can't make others see what we want because others have already made up there mind(even I).
Lets leave it at that...
btw whats the point of being anon anyway...!(Jus wonderin..)

Anonymous said...

A lot of what she has said is true, especially for guys who never interact with girls.They talk(with other guys) about how they'd f*** a girl etc. but never really get arnd talking to one of them.So they take out their frustration by treating girls 2nd class.Case of sour grapes no doubt!

Abhishek Syal said...

i like your post. a lot, actually.

However, you could tone it down for engineering guys coming from small places rather than criminalizing the whole community.

In my personal opinion, today, world is so fast that hardly anyone cares for all this. I dont think that smoking is right for health. that's it. it has nothing to do with character, whether it's a girl or a boy. And the same case with virginity or whatever else.

And what you express applies to guys who do jeer at you. ya. but, to generalize it, it is quite erroneous.

And frankly, character of people changes at our age, and is more prone, after the proliferation of ubiquitous technologies and alternative media streams like internet.

And you must also realize that there are girls also who can "use and throw" guys.

Do you really want me to write a post on it?

Abhishek Syal said...

And to top it all, I really would point out a contradictory clause that you stated.

First of all, guys who sit around you complain that there are no beautiful girls (aesthetically), so why would they be "that" much interested in eve-teasing?

Secondly, i think, with virtual world access available, i think guys would rather like to find a girl online at some other place than indulge in eve-teasing out of which they cant even derive half the pleasure. ( based on what you have stated! )

Contrary to the popular opinion that most girls are cows, atleast within my age bracket that i have seen (17yo - 31 yo) i have found quite the opposite.

Maybe at our college they are, and in front of a nice guy, they'll pretend all "innocent", but they are very good at pretending, and based on their strength of emotions, they can very well play around. A guy gets more serious sooner. and girls do capitalize on that to get their things done or whatever else.

Nothing against you. but please open your eyes, and girls are quite different in front of a guy, guys (friends), and girls and close girl friends.

And before attacking the community, kindly look at flaws inside yours.

Anonymous said...

@Syal: I think you putting the thoughts already stated in previous comments in your own words and I guess this post was on guys not on girls becoz ppl already crib a lot abt how girls use emotions as tools or dress inappropriately and blah blah .....
Every time they have taken it and kept quiet as stated by radha in her blog so why is it so difficult for you ppl to once see your own mistakes.
I would say you tht if there is a problem may be not all guys are responsible for it but not all girls deserve that behaviour

draco said...

This is a fun post on the above mentioned topic...

(My Fav Blog ever)

Raghu said...

Why fight? The 3rd and 4th lines in the 1st para summarize it all. @all those 'politically correct' ppl: sry!

Vikalp said...

Awesome blog ! I agree entirely with each and every statement.
We males should give the fairer sex the respect they deserve.
@Radha: Very well written :)

K.G. said...

damn .. not one more of those posts ... not saying that its bad ... its as if every girl has to have this kinda post in her blog .... impressive line of comments there ...

P.S. - you need to hang out with/around better guys :)

maru said...

Nicely written, this will make people to realize for a while. But generalizing some concepts won’t give a great impact on the people mind set, becoz people “we” are living and grown with society where still woman is fighting for “Reservation” instead of equal status. All we need is just change in mind set, now a days girls are intelligent enough to come out with their problems and sufficiently educated to solve them.
But, question is, even though they have been given freedom (in terms of social law) some where still misuse and lack in clarity between relations. Why still this generation girls are always thinking and openly agreeing that opposite gender is dominating on them??. It will give psychological feeling to guys that “still girl’s r having an old mind set (where they use to bind with unethical rules and regulations of old custom)
And solution is with in you only…!! When ever this kind of topic arises, U people (educated) will talk 95% of the mistakes of opposite gender and at the end leave the decision (foolishly) to guys whether it is right or wrong,,, & still wait for their change and realization, do u think they (dominating characters) are ready to leave there egoism just for u r arguments????????

So next time u come with 95% solutions (becoz all knows the problem), that will definitely change the mind set of the people and “psychologically other gender will feel ur thinking and can make an impact if they are not following the change.

Holmes said...
btw this comes from a girl, surprised??

Ram said...

Guys and girls are equal. No question about it. But please do not confuse this with 'same'. Men and Women are as different as night and day. In fact most psychologists and biologist agree that a man's way of thinking and behaving has more in common with a male chimpanzee that with a woman's. Men truly are from Mars and women from Venus. So please do not measure us with the same yardstick as that u would measure urselves. We are different . Guys ogle at girls , brag about all the stupid things we have done. think its funny to throw a stone onto a puddle of water and c sme1 drenched in coz of it. It does not make us pigs, just different. Ogling, passing vulgar comments and drooling over a picture of Pamela Anderson may seem crass and uncultured to the fairer sex, but thats who we are!!! we are programmed that way!! blame nature. I mean come on! Nature already gave us the short end of the stick by making the same hormones that make us male also make us bald, angry, mentally unstable and have a shorter lifespan. The least u could do is let us enjoy our ogling like nature intended without making us feel guilty!! :P

Radha said...

@ Syal: No, I do not want you to write a post on how girls behave, seeing as you have already written one. As Anon pointed out, you haven't written anything different from other guys here, so I also do not have anything different to add here.

@ Vikalp: Thank you! Wish all guys could take the post this positively!

@ K.G. : Surprising, isn't it, that almost every girl has a post of this kind in her blog? Anyways, about the other guys, this is not my own personal feeling, every girl i know feels this in their respective circles. So please do not personalize this.
Actually, I would suggest you to ask the girls who hang out with you to comment upon this.

@ Maruti: A thoughtful analysis.

@ Ram: Awesome thoughts! The perfect way of summarising this entire discussion I believe!

Ajay said...

Not evry girl is oogled.

If a guy oogle a girl, that means that he find her irresistibly beautiful and can't take his eyes off her.
And the beautiful ones seem to know this and take it as a compliment. Some even flaunt it and there is nothing wrong in that.

After all beauty is a gift not evr1 is blessed with and we are always there to remind them :P

No need to make an issue out of everything.

KK said...

okay you just about stole my thoughts there.. and even though i am not a feminist these are precisely my thoughts..!! guys need to grow up and start respecting women. period.

(sorry cldnt go through the 50+ comments.. maybe this all has been written :P)

Radha said...

@ Ajay: haha! well said :) would remember that next time. you know, guys should stop protesting and arguing and should rather express their thoughts in a clearer way as you did.

@ KK: Thanks! Well the comments above are mixed reactions. And a lot of them say the exact opposite of what you did. But thanks anyways! And yeah, I'm not a feminist either. These are just precisely my thoughts :)

Ram said...

@KK :D
please do not confuse oglers as people who do not respect women... They do it for the simple reason because that is the only way they know to appreciate women.... its kinda the same way an art buff would drool over the Mona Lisa :P

and about the guyz needing to grow up part...

guys need to grow up,
baboons need to stop sniffing their own butts
and dogs need to stop sniffing their balls...

sorry never gonna happen.... blame the guy who hardwired out brains....

KK said...

respect women for WHO they are and not for their looks is what i meant... waise respect them for looks also, but not for looks ONLY :P

and it is one thing to maybe stare at a beauty and a completely different (and wrong) way to go about it is to pass lewd comments/eve-tease which i am against (well most guys would be with me on this)

Ram said...

@ KK
again u are confusing respect with appreciation!!

Most guys, 1ce they get over the slight dent to their ego , are more than ready to accept that women are as smart if not smarter and definitely more mature than most men. And we respect them for it.... make no mistake.

nonetheless, our total blatant appreciation of the physical looks of a woman (irrespective of her IQ and EQ) will always remain... simply because that is the most natural (if not only ) form of appreciation that we know..

Although i totally am with u on the eve teasing issue.... but the comments and bragging is kinda involuntary.... its not even consciously done most of the time....

Although it would be very nice to be in a world where it doesn't occur, most of the times , the guys usually cant help it!!!

Radha said...

@ Ram: I agree with you; guys can't help but appreciate a woman's beauty. What KK and I wish to say, is that they should also appreciate the woman as a person, and then in turn they should also appreciate a woman who is not beautiful for her personality.

Ram said...

When Basketball legend Mike Jordan wanted to switch to Baseball for a career he failed miserably in spite of the fact that he was pretty good... coz no mater how good a player he was as a baseball player, no1 would look at him as anything but a basketball player... it did not mater how well he pitched or how well he batted....no1 would even consider to look beyond his basketball stats....

its kinda the same way with good looks i does not matter that a woman's IQ is probably over 180... no1 would ever look beyond her looks and check if she has something intellectual to contribute..

Take Marilyn Monroe for example... Einstein and Arthur miller had separately said that she was one of the smartest and most dedicated actress they had seen. but the public could never look beyond the blond hair and the show-stopping good looks and she was always stereotyped as the typical Blonde......

its not just for women, King of Rock Elvis Presley had 1ce gone on record saying that he always wanted to act in a serious movie with a good script but would only get roles that made use of his good looks as a poster pic....

That is human nature I guess... we as a people always get caught up in the Flashiness of the cover and never pause to check if the book has ne substance in it!!!

The question was never SHOULD we change, it was always CAN we?

KK said...

^^ yeah i agree that while the looks-wise attraction if i may is involuntary, it is one thing to maybe look once (or twice if the girl is real hot/beautiful :P nah,...) but completely another thing to ogle while staring at her body and start imagining things... c'mon, there can be *no* straight guy who doesnt look twice if a good looking woman passes by, and ditto for women too.. BUT there is a difference between ogling & imagining in a disgusting way and just looking... just looking is what is like you say appreciate the beauty, and ogling is something which is the focus of discussion here i believe, right radha?

draco said...

Its not the looking part that bothers the girls. Its rather the 'objectifying' them that pisses off them(There are some girls who even like that, we can come to that later,wink wink).
Btw, people who are mentioned in the blog don't bother reading(they are busy!) while the remaining people indulge in this silly fight :P.

KK said...

yeah, objectifying, that's the word.

Radha said...

@ KK: i totally agree! But ogling is not the only issue here. Its like draco said and you realised, the objectifying part. You forgetting that we are people too, that bothers us. And you know, i believe you do that without even realising it, like right now, I have mentioned the issue of not-so-beautiful girls in my past two comments, but you guys seem to neglect it :) you keep coming back to the beautiful girls. perhaps Ram is right :P

@ draco: well, most people have compres going on. Im a dualite myself :P

TT said...

I objectify only the beautiful ones...the rest can take lite.:P

KK said...

no, i did not neglect anything/anyone :P :|

KK said...

it is like, if you are beautiful then you get ogled at and if you are ugly (sorry for the usage) then you get a raw deal. it is a lose-lose situation whichever way you look at it :|

TT said...

@KK - wht lose-lose situation u talkin??
just 'cause a girl gets oogled puts her in a loosing situtaion,... now come on hu r u kiddin?
If anything it will help the girl's self confidence, apart from the popularity and the improtance she would get among her peers.
Ask any not-so-beautiful girl and see the extent they are willing to go to get the same type of attntion and popularity that this girl is getting. Some may not like to admit but that's the way things are.

KK said...

not all girls want all the "attention" and "popularity" and i'd reckon the means to get them would most likely *not* be those mentioned here... just my guess, i wouldn't know.. and i don't know any girl as yet who would want that. girls like being *appreciated*

Radha said...

@ KK and TT: Girls like being appreciated a lot, and they like the attention and the popularity too, to some extent. But they definitely don't like being ogled at (not talking about some wannabe girls here). Coming from a girl, this should settle the argument.

btw, what was the point of the argument newez??

Ram said...

There is a direct correlation between looks and popularity and success. Its not just with guys u know. If a real good looking woman goes past us every1 would look @ them.... not just the males in the group...

Its a established fact that people intrinsically trust good looking people.. If u dont trust me check out the different presidents of the US... 9 out of 10 times the election was won by the more attractive candidate... in fact even in the most recent elections it was reported that Hillary Clinton's polls went up 1ce she started wearing more make up and more stylish skirts!!!!!

Almost every profession in the world that requires public approval is dominated by good looking people. Its actually a viscous circle, good people are always pushed into the spotlight(whether they like it or not) and most of them are confident and outgoing people and are ready to seize the advantages of the attention, whereas the not so good looking people are initially ignored and then because of their self consciousness choose to remain hidden.

If u want more proof , look @ the list of the most influential people of the world... other than Oprah, almost every1 in that list man or woman is stone cold,drop-dead gorgeous.

Objectifying a person (man or woman) is wrong, no doubts about it... but the problem is that its done unconsciously and so subtly that its almost impossible to change it. Its done on instinct and not on purpose.

So for all the good looking people out there...use the ur god given gift to rule over us mere mortals... and for the rest of us, we just have to just that bit more spectacular to get noticed... i dun think it can ever be helped.

TT said...

@ram Bang on target...that's called being realisitic.
U do manage to put ur thoughts so clearly in words...awesome.

K.G. said...

Girls I hang out with have commented on it ... and they agree with you ... hell even I agree with most of it ... some guys do think that way ... my point here was with you genaralizing it for all the guys ... using "YOU believe that...." and pointing at all the guys just didnt sound that much "fun" ...

K.G. said...

btw the blogs name and content is surely following the laws of thermodyanamics ;)

Ram said...

ok totaly los me there!!

Ram said...


Radha said...

@ Ram: you know, you have kinda started loving to write blogs on my blogger :D

@ K.G.: well by you, i mean you guys in general, not you K.G. :P so you can take whatever part of it you feel to be true. Anyways, I didn't understand the thermodynamic part either!

KK said...

did we take a wrong turn somewhere? :P :|

Ram said...

@ Radha : :P :)

K.G. said...

ooh come on .... you are chem + chem .... (the law says that the total "entropy" of the universe always keeps on increasing :P)

K.G. said...

and ... i know you meant it for all guys ... thats what your text clearly indicates :|

KK said...

am i the *only* one who still hasn't got it? :|

Radha said...

still hasn't got the thermodynamics funda? yep :P
The second law of thermodynamics states that the entropy increases in any spontaneous process. As such, the entropy of the universe is always increasing.
And my blog is named Entropy.
Please tell me you get that now!

Ram said...

Oh MY GOD!!!

Mohit | Sourcemorph said...

just one small observation-

sex ratio in my batch at goa campus: 500:70 (approx)
sex ration in the country: 1000:944

if you would let me assume that the greater the number of girls in the campus, the greater the chance of us finding more girls good looking- it isn't unfair for guys to do what you mentioned here-

"We hear you complaining that there are no beautiful girls to look at in the campus, we see you using your fingertips to count the few females who are 'worth a glance'"

Ram said...

no idea wat u mean ro ... u totally lost me